How I REALLY feel about Valentine's Day

It's pointless if no one loves you.  Oh sure, I've got family and I've got the Lord, but it gets frightfully lonesome without a better half.  Since I'm an overweight, frowsy, asexual chatterbox with moderately conservative leanings and a number of niche hobbies, I doubt I'll find anyone.  Hence my hair bow with snarky conversation hearts.  This bow is rated "R" for salty language, but I've worn it to work twice before and no one said anything.  Etsy shop is NerdyFashionistaShop.
The messages on these hearts also sum up my feelings for conversation hearts in general.  I hate those nasty things; they've always tasted like chalk with a tiny bit of sugar mixed in.  I think back to Gordon Ramsay's description of Smarties (he describes them as a combination of aspirin and Tums), and I wonder what his opinion on conversation hearts is.  LOL, I'd love to hear it!  I personally am not a huge fan of Smarties, but they're a helluva lot better than conversation hearts!  Today my favorite hearts say this.
If someone or something starts giving me a hard time "Bite me" is usually my first response.  "Jump off a cliff" is another of my favorites, but I doubt that would fit on one of these teeny bits of foam.  "Drop dead," up in the left top corner, is one of my mother's favorites.  And the whole family has been known to say "F@#k you" on more than one occasion (five of the hearts on my bow say that).  My brother-in-law tries to keep his mouth clean, but even he will say it if the occasion calls for it.  My sister, on the other hand...I think the eff-word is her favorite naughty word (mine is sh!t).  According to my mother, sometimes an occasion does call for a good sound F-bomb.

LOL, truth be told, I actually do like Valentine's Day.  Every year the stuffed animals get bigger and more original (last year I even saw a big octopus), and I love the candy even though I inevitably give myself a stomachache.  It just gets tiresome being alone.  But then again, I'm so set in my ways that having to bend for someone would be irksome as well.  'Cause that's how relationships work.  Both of you have to bend a little.  Not a lot, just enuff so that you don't drive each other crazy.  I guess.  I wouldn't know.

Happy/crappy Valentine's Day,
RagingMoon1987

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