Coming out

I don't usually take part in pride events, largely because I have absolutely NOTHING in common with that community.  I am staunchly religious and moderately right-wing and most of them are not, and they can be pretty vitriolic towards differing opinions (if their behavior on FailBook is any clue) so I stay away.  Sort of a "you leave me be and I'll leave you be" thing.  But today...well, today I guess I'll make an exception.  The bow comes from GillyJeanCrafts, which has nice things for people both on and off the rainbow spectrum (though the shop specializes in stuff for those ON the spectrum).  Anyway, here's the bow; it's a medium-sized cheer-style bow.

An asexual pride bow, referred to hereafter as an ace bow.  I'm asexual.  I've known ever since I was about twenty-two, but I've kept it more or less hidden until recently.  It started with a vow of abstinence when I was thirteen.  I had a casual boyfriend and was learning about the health risks of sex in school, but I didn't know how to get the job done so...I took a deep breath and asked Daddy.  When I popped the question Daddy bristled and asked "Is that boy pushin' you to do somethin'?"  LOL, y'know how daddies are!  Upon being firmly told no, he explained the basics about the birds and the bees, I replied "That means we'd both have to take our clothes off, right?" and he said "Yes."  "Ewww..." I shuddered.  The vow of abstinence grew into apathy, and apathy in turn grew into a full-tilt dislike for the very subject of sex.  My best friend's description of her first time didn't help either (she reported that it hurt).  To quote Daffy Duck, I can't stand pain.  It hurts me!  And lastly, I don't want children.  The world's too evil for children, and I'm too irresponsible to be a mother.

Admittedly, I'm up for a relationship with the right fellow (I remain heteroromantic, or an ace of hearts).  But full-tilt sex?  Nah.  I'd rather have a nice new dress for one of my dolls, or a book on some obscure tornado (Saragosa's on my mind), or another new hair bow.  Or I'd rather go out on the back roads to gawk at the wildflowers or the crops or the huge painted sliders living in the ditches.  On a good day I might even see a snapping turtle; alligator snappers are endangered, but I've seen a couple around here, big enuff to go sauntering across the road without a care or a fear in the world.  If the turtles aren't slidin' or snappin' I'll photograph some funny-looking cloud, or admire the local air base's lights and how they sparkle in the dark, or I'll catch fireflies if the time of year is right.  Little things like that, things that I might not have noticed if I were in the back of someone's Buick with my clothes off.  Wait a minute...none of my friends drive Buicks.  They've got Fords and Chevys.  And I won't be in the back of those with my clothes off either, so there's that.

And that's it!  Now that I'm out and the world didn't implode, I'm going back to leaving the others be and hoping they leave me be.  My mother handled the news well, by the way.  Indeed, I cheated a bit and came out to her last April so the events today wouldn't be too much of a surprise.  She sounded a little freaked out at first, but then she said "Well, aren't you glad you're not confused about who you like?"  She'd prefer that I not make a big deal about it because "it's no one's business but your own," as she puts it, and indeed, I try not to make a big scene.  I'm just gonna wear my bow and my T-shirt and be done with it, and if someone recognizes it and says "I'm ace too," I'll give 'em a big smile and maybe a hug if they want one.

Much love,
RagingMoon1987